Ahead of the Lost Boys project launch this month, the CSJ spent a day in Redcar with the Woodsmith Foundation. This was an incredibly impactful and insightful visit, and following it Helen Kennedy the Community Connector in Dormanstown was kind enough to share her reflections on what young men in the area are currently experiencing.
Helen works in a unique and relational way with the local community, creating connections and links with those deemed ‘hard to reach’ by others, a term Helen vehemently disagrees with;
“Too many young men and boys have told me they feel trapped and pushed through a system that punishes instead of nurtures, enforces instead of empowers. Our communities cannot afford to keep losing them to cycles of poverty, hopelessness, and incarceration.
We must build pathways that honour their strengths, not just their test scores—pathways that offer skills, mentorship, and dignity. When we lead with compassion instead of criticism, we don’t just change their futures—we change the future of our entire community.
Many of our youngest boys have leadership and entrepreneurial minds that are left undeveloped in schools. With a 56-month wait for SEND support, they are being pulled into exploitation and cuckooing circles before they even have a chance to see their own potential. Throughout the education system, they are consistently berated, leading to a growing subculture of anti-education.
When they are made to feel like failures from the start, how can we expect them to find purpose, passion, and belonging—the very things that drive us as human beings? If we do not create alternative pathways now, we are not just failing them—we are failing all of us.”
The Woodsmith Foundation also shared the experiences of a mother, trying their best for their teenage boy who believes school is pointless;
“He has never been a school refuser. We are strong enough as a family unit to ensure we do not give in to his growing hatred of the education system since year 7. But it’s so hard not to agree in some way to his opinions.
The difficulty for him is the expectation to sit still and silent for such long periods of time. To learn he needs to move. I know this and a lot of science backed research specifies many other young boys are the same but there is no alternative options provided in our schools. “If he was allowed to move and fidget it would disrupt the entire class”, “he is not the worst so he cannot be considered for any extra support”, “he cant stop chatting”, “he was too boisterous today”, “we just cannot allow that kind of playing as there are too many children and we cant risk manage it all”, “he got too passionate about the rules of the game and got cross”, are some of the statements I have been given for the reasons he was in receipt of school consequences.
These and many others are the direct cause of his growing disengagement of the education system. He has used statements such as “what’s the point”. My son now thinks if he is not perfect, he is useless. This really upsets me as his Mum and as a coach and as a human.
Why are we pushing our children to think perfection is possible rather than developing opportunities for them to find out who they really are and work with that to grow their potential.
My son wants to go in the Navy, he is interested in a second language and has a confidence in his abilities to do so. He has an aptitude in most sports and a growing interest in cookery skills. His taste in music makes me smile-old school dance classics and awful rap but can also sing beautifully. He loves to paint and draw but he was told once in primary school he was not very good at this so stopped developing this side.
His teachers have no idea about any aspects of his personality or capabilities as they are so pressed and stretched and confined to work inside their lanes. Create a relationship with our boys, find out about their hobbies, humour, and interests, have a laugh with them and they will work hard. Enforcing punitive consequences is not only losing a generation but allowing our young boys to grow into young men with a hatred towards system, structure, and society.
I won’t let this happen for my son, but I see daily the struggles of parents desperately trying to do the best they can, and I empathise with everyone.”
